Tale of the Fake FMAN

What you are about to read is the (possibly heart-wrenching, arguably clichéd) story of an AJ troll who decides to turn his life around and become a legitimate Animal Jam player, and the troubles he experiences while trying to do so.

The Tale
Once upon a time, there lived a twelve-year-old kid. He had a real name, but that's unimportant to this story. What's really important to this story is the username this child would choose on Animal Jam.

"All of my friends play it, so why shouldn't I?" the kid asked himself. "They always talk about the infamous hacker, FMAN, and his dark accomplishments...I wish I could be as cool as FMAN." Instantly, the kid had an idea. "I know! I'll make an account and pretend to be FMAN! Nothing could go wrong!"

The kid went through the AJ sign-up process in a hurry. He chose the username "F1M1A1N" and began his life of AJ crime...starting with copying the appearance of everyone's favorite hacking wolfman, Awesome Sunnybrave.

"Ah, an experienced player, I see..." F1M1A1N said to an overdressed Arctic Wolf. "What's your problem, fake FMAN?" replied the annoyed wolf. F1 was shocked. His plan to impersonate the big F had already failed...or had it?

"Sure, I'm fake. Sure. You keep believing that, buddy," F1 angrily typed, hoping that it might make him sound like the real FMAN. The Arctic Wolf shouted, "FMAN doesn't even talk!" The wolf then disappeared, fed up with the doofus' antics.

F1 brainstormed ways to improve his performance as FMAN. "Maybe I should buy a new animal, make it look similar to Awesome Sunnybrave and go from there? Then I'll need some...gems..."

F1 went to Sol Arcade, the number one gem-earning spot, and clicked on "Falling Phantoms." After eighty rounds of the game, he started to truly enjoy the game and forgot about his reason for being there. "Ooh-hoo-hoo, yeah! It's Fall'n' Phantoms time!"

More and more gems he collected. Soon he had nine thousand gems. "Jeepers! I only needed one thousand for my next troll-animal." F1 purchased a penguin and colored it exactly like FMAN. "Let the troll'n' commence!"

Sadly, the trolling did not go as planned. "Wow, you didn't even get the animal right, Fake-MAN," said one Jammer. "F-postor!" said another. Not a single Jammer believed that he was FMAN.

"Y'know what, I think I should give up troll'n' and become a real AJ player! I loved Falling Phantoms and wouldn't mind play'n' it a zillion times through!"

F1 spent the following year building up gems and buying the very few rares that NMs could. However, despite his efforts to look experienced, everyone thought he was a simple troll account because of his username - F1M1A1N. "Oh, why did I choose to troll?!" cried F1.

The next day, F1 decided to tell his story to anyone who cared to listen. "Listen up, y'all. I know my username makes me look like a fail-errific FMAN troll, but I really want to be seen as a regular ol' nonmember, like those losers over there!" He pointed at a herd of NM seals, derping in the corner.

"Uh, okay?" nervously said one Jammer.

F1 exploded. "OKAY?! I tell you of my sorrows and you respond with OKAY?! How'd you like it if your username was en-cursed? You wouldn't like it, now would ya? Huh?"

"Y'know you could just email AJHQ and they'll change your username for ya," explained an owl.

"What...did...you...say?" F1 asked, twitching.

"You can contact AJHQ and they will fix your username. Although I think you need a little more help than that..."

"Aaahh!!!" screamed F1. He was done.

The End
Now, wasn't that a story?