Thread:Sweet Gem/@comment-39615662-20190607184205/@comment-31148069-20190607235715

You're not alone. It's scary how similar we are. Take my hand, elt me show you something, this is my life, these are my poems.

" Can... Can you hear?

Hello

is anybody here?

Is anyone listening?

Can you hear me drowning

Probably not

Most people don't

How could you hear someone six feet below the surface over your own laughter?

your own voice

your love

It's all louder than the screams of people who need help.

And yet, silent

Because you hear whats happening

But when you ask someone if they are fine, you never know how to respond when they say..

"No..."

....

Do you?

It's rare

Our hands are tied, we cannot reach out

our mouths are gagged, we cannot talk about it

the cuts on our wrists and heart are salted.

And the only people who can truly hear our screams...

are the ones that are screaming themselves."

"With you Sometimes I just wish I could be with you

Hold your hand again.

No one knows about you though

I bet you miss me too

Sometimes I laugh

I don't want to, but I try to forget about you

believe it or not, I also tried forcing myself into crushes with guys and girls I barely even knew

I realise I'll never like anyone, and no one will like me.

Almost everybody loves me (as a friend)

But nobody likes me.

And that is the lonliest feeling in the world.

I miss you

~Bestfriend"

"Who?

I have a problem.

I push myself away from people whenever I feel the slightest bit excluded

I isolate myself

I become sad

It's a problem and it my fault

I can hear their voices

'''If you wanted to talk to us then involve yourself... stop playing the martyr, because you're not and it's selfish... we all love you as a friend but sometimes the was you blame us and then walk away complaining is annoying...'''

It's hard...

I laugh it off...

But at the same time I'm crying

but of course it's MY fault... and i'm selfish.. stupid.... perky...

'''You're a waste of time and this is why people distance themselves from you. It's why you lost some of your friends."'''​​​​​​

There's more. My insanity. My faults, my imperfections. These voices in my head, not all of them are friendly or helpful. Some that are deep down in the place where I spend more and mroe time every day have black ink dripping fromt heir mouths. Of course.It's not your fault for any of this. It's not selfish. That's what they want you to think, they take evry bit of happiness or freedom and rip it away or turn it to insanity. Constant singing turns to constant poems. Constant storytelling leads to not being able to leave this imaginary world so you just keep exploring until you walk into the deepest darkest forest, and their seems to be no way out.

"'''Your singing is annoying, can you like stop?" "I found your stories, and they are honestly cringy like what the hell??"'''

"Ugh will you shut up!"

Hey chill out...

ok...

''Deep breaths. * hugs *''

What's going on?

Nothing jack.

Ok, why are they crying?

''Jack. Not now.''

These are the voices inside my head. Sometimes writing them down helps. Sorry if this was inturupting. I'm bad at giving advice. But I'm a good listener. I promise I understand, so much that... it's scary. I don't fall. I drown. I see others drowning. I go out of my way to save them. I see others being attacked by sharks. I go out of my way to save them. Sometimes... I can't. So I drown. It's harder for people to save me. I have weights on my ankles that only disappear when I save others. I don't have physical scars. I'm the listener in ym friend group. I help them. They tell me I'm the best and that I will do great things when I grow up... but the problem of being the listener. Is there is no one to listen to you. And so... you scream.... but sound is hard to pinpoint in the water.