User blog comment:Willownerd/A story im writing/@comment-27070860-20191022164526

Nice start! I especially liked how you described the flashing lights & obnoxious carnival stalls.

Though this could have really used a second read-through on your part; there's plenty of typos that could be easly fixed (like 'Digitala', 'Sweator', 'Peopl').

The timing in your story is nice, I enjoyed learning the little things about Willow, her likes and dislikes. The friendship between Willow & Digital is lovely, too, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of them ^^

You also use a lot of 'ands' in a single sentence, i'd recommend you cut some of your longer sentences in half. It'll make what you're trying to convey clearer ^^

Good luck with writing the rest