User blog:759maddie759/maddie's dumb scp

Item #: SCP-5000

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5000 is to be guarded with no more or less of 3 security personnel at all times. A Class D officer can be escorted by the security personnel to atleast have a conversation with SCP-5000 once a week to prevent it from falling into a depressed state. Any testing will be taken place in Area-51. It is also allowed to have basic human needs, clothes, and a computer.

Description: SCP-5000 is a sentient humanoid emoji, taking its form in the "joy" emoji. Its mask is seemingly part of its body, acting as a head. SCP-5000 refuses to speak unless commanded or reprimanded. SCP-5000 identifies itself as "Joe". SCP-5000 is currently happy with its stay in the foundation. It, too, claims that it has a bad relationship with SCP-42069. SCP-5000 also possesses the ability to spawn items of whatever it wants. Item should be thorougly inspected before given to SCP-5000.

Interviewed: SCP-5000

Interviewer: Dr. █████████

Foreword: SCP-5000, after being less happy, visibly, after learning about SCP-███, a popular SCP in the foundation.



Dr. █████████: Goodmorning, SCP-5000, please take a seat.

SCP-5000: .... [silence, then SCP-5000 takes a seat]

Dr. █████████: Thank you. Will you answer some questions for me?

SCP-5000: [long pause] Ok.

Dr. █████████: What do you know about this, "SCP-42069"?

SCP-5000: [an even longer pause] She was my wife.

Dr. █████████: Wife? Noted.

SCP-5000: Yes. Back then, my past life.

Dr. █████████: Will you tell me more about this wife?

SCP-5000: [long pause] ...Well, she just, really wasn't happy with me, even if it was her fault.

Dr. █████████: Are you aware that SCP does not exist yet?

SCP-5000: ..Yes, I am aware.

Dr. █████████: [papers being heard shuffling] And, what happened next?

SCP-5000: [long pause] She threatened to kill me and my mother, so I threatened her. We got into a big fight. She saw my mother enter the room we were in and hit her with the glass of wine while we were fighting.

Dr. █████████: Noted, and what happened next?

SCP-5000: Nothing. I don't remember anything after that, I think I died? I don't know. But, I mean, I sort of do! By that, I mean uhhh, I think I called the cops? And she probably is in jail, today.

Dr. █████████: Interesting, and do you have a clue why you reincarnated as an emoji?

SCP-5000: No, I mean, my form is really silly. Nobody takes me seriously, really, those inmate lookin' people never take me seriously!

Dr. █████████: Do you possess any ability you find abnormal?

SCP-5000: Uhh, not really. I mean, I think it's normal...but not really.

Dr. █████████: May I see it, SCP-5000?

SCP-5000: [visibly embarassed] Now...okay, but I can't really control it well..

Dr. █████████: That's alright, SCP-5000.

SCP-5000: [SCP-5000 is visibly seen thinking hard] --Uhhhh, please, hold on-- [And suddenly, mac and cheese appear from SCP-5000's hand]

Dr. █████████: That's great, SCP-5000, when did you realize that you had this power?

SCP-5000: Well, I craved mac and cheese one day, and I thought too much and suddenly mac and cheese appeared on my hands! It's great!

Dr. █████████: Interesting, well, we'll talk again one day, J-, SCP-5000.

SCP-5000: Thank you! But you can call me Joe if you'd like.



Closing Statement: SCP-5000 was visibly more relieved and happy, seemingly content with itself.