Talk:Animal Jam Creepypasta ~ Forgotten Alpha/@comment-32239721-20160512132750

This needs many puntuation addings and I srsly dont get it that much. It's good a story and all but some characters are a little useless to the story.

Storm shrieked and fell over into a little hole. Greely pulled Storm out and Sir Gilbert reached for Storm, but Storm wriggled out of his grasp and turned in a wolf. He padded away and the Alphas went back to their HQ and began to fix up Jamaa.

This is not realistic. If it were true, then the alphas would have caught him. He only padded away, so they could catch him and teach him a lesson. It might have been better if the Alphas had thrown him into a hole that he had lied about. Also, they went back to clean up Jamaa and after that took no notice of Fman's exsistance.

This is concerning the errors. This is really in all, a great story that I enjoyed.