The Tale of the Lilium

I trudged through the snow, my feet quivering with each step. You must bring the book to the Lead Apprentice, a voice boomed in my head. I felt the tips of my ears freeze even more. My eyelashes were coated in snow, and the further I pressed on the less I could see. I didn't want to admit that I was traveling in circles. There had to be something- a sign- that would lead me to a village of some kind. Suddenly, I felt my feet sink. Too tired to continue, I immediately dropped. I felt my heart slow its beating. I couldn't feel my toes, my fingers, anything. This is what happens when you stray away from Ruzan, the voice said knowingly.

Ruzan is my hometown. Or was, I should say. I was banished a few months ago, for killing a gruff shopkeeper. He was old, fat, dark eyed, hairy-toed. He brought me into the back of the small shop, brought me to the wall.

I won't hurt you.

Nothing that you don't want would happen.

You're so beautiful.

He said those words into my very ear. I'd known he always watched me whenever I went out to ride my horse. I'd known he stopped by often, asking my father if he needed help keeping me under control. My father knew better, of course, but I didn't. The shopkeeper said nothing when he pulled me over, I said nothing. I couldn't.

I felt his rough hands brush against my face, his poison breath against my shoulders. I kept my knife on hand all the time. Just in case, my father said. When he was about to take off my hood, I drew out my small knife and stabbed him in the chest forty-seven times. I counted. Forty-seven. And I couldn't stop. He let out such a cry that the Apprentices heard, and, due to me being so young, was banished and left to die outside of the Wall instead of being hung.

I looked up to the Apprentices. I wanted to be one of them. They had so much honor, fighting for the village. Bringing food. Destroying the wicked. Bringing justice to the good. But I couldn't forgive them after they didn't listen to what I had to say.

The Outer Wall was full of mythical beasts and creatures, or so the myths said. Nobody dared come out, not even Apprentices. We had animals. We had food. Plants, shelter, water. No need to explore the outside.

When they threw me out, the wall stood so high. It didn't seem that tall when I was inside Ruzan.