Talk:Normal/@comment-33270438-20171006102653

This is starting off pretty well, I only have a few problems with it that would be minor to change and probably wouldn't affect much of the story.

In my opinion, the story started off very weak, the very brief introduction was in first person, yet, chapter 1 was third person. The consistency should be kept the same, it's like switching between past and future tenses. Chapter 1 was also pretty short, that whole chapter would make up ONE paragraph. The character is also boring, the only thing that sets her apart from most others is that she's quiet. Adding a defining characteristic would give us a better reason to like her instead of 'oh she's quiet!!! Afraid to be judged!!'. Maybe like a hidden talent.