Talk:The Cats That Lurk in the Shadows/@comment-32492996-20180620164933

This is a good first story, but I have just few suggestions. I hate critisicm and- well, I mean, I don't I like it, but sometimes it gets on my nerves when I have something planned so you don't really have to read my suggestions. Here we go:

Suggestion 1: Try to split the story into sections with headings and such

Suggestion 2: Please add more detail to things such as what the nests looked like, what the clan looked like, what other cats were strolling on by, and to the forest. I don't like describing land either, because it's really boring for me, but you gotta do it if you want the story to make sense and be a good one. Plus, adding detail makes the story longer AND more interesting. Things to add detail to:

~The nests

~The clan territory

~The forest

~What the cats looked like

~ Other clan cats nearby

~ What Storm looked like

~The battle scene

Suggestion 3: (Last one I promise)  To make the story more dramatic, you might want to have a really happy moment before the tradgedy strikes. You could make a prologue with a happy moment between the children and mother, to demonstrate how much they love their mother. Perhaps have them ask about their father, have the mother's expression turn vague, and for her to ignore the question.

Overall, I think the story is good, and I'm excited to see more stories by you!

(On a side note, I love warrior cats and roleplaying. ~insert wink~)