Talk:Imagination/@comment-39625574-20191008222355/@comment-39615662-20191016010353

rise of the elements is still ongoing, whereas slave of the phantoms finished a good amount of time ago.

besides, like, eh this story could be a bit better, just sayin'. the words are a tad bit basic, and its hard to understand who's talking as the words are squished into a long, blocky paragraph. the grammar has room for improvement, and overall the vocab in itself just bothered me. where you said "As Shard fell into a cavern of rocks, she started to remember things." I just cringed a bit.

Maybe just try looking like some more effort was put into it. it takes me AGES to finish stories because I'm trying so hard to detail every little word. Instead of what you wrote, you could perhaps change it to something along the lines of, "As Shard descended into a dreary cavern, piled high with rocks, her brain cleared and ubiquitous memories washed her, reducing her expectancy of the moral decisions of the world." Doesn't that sound a bit better?

Not saying to copy down what I just wrote, but like try harder before going around and waving off Abbykurle's brisky action-packed story, simply because 'you want something new'.