Talk:Barely Betrayal/@comment-30921738-20191029231854

Woah!!! I love the suspense! I like the creepy feeling to it. But, I would reccomend adding a description of the things around them. Like the fields at night, you could really make it ten times creepier if you described it the right way. Here's an axample, you can use it if you want:

"The crop field was dark and eerie in the sunset. The sky was a deep, bloodred color, casting the field in an eerie red light. Fog drifted close to the ground, making the air chilly as they walked through the tall crops. The dark, twisting sillhouette of tree branches creeped along the horizon, like twisted hand reaching for the sky."

However, in order to add descriptions like that you might have to change your writing style a little bit and cut the names in front of their speech, however it does make it easier to read with their names in front of the writing.

Can't wait to see what happens next!