Thread:Youngcoldnew17/@comment-44103629-20200128184913/@comment-39191802-20200128203957

I'm in the middle of reading it, and it's pretty good so far! My only critique is in the newspaper article.

"Young Tiger Kills Parents!

''Here today at Appletree Homes, a young tiger called Apollo has led young arctic wolf, Red's parents into a rockfall. This has believed to happen at midnight, and we are putting the young man in jail for 2 weeks, and given him a 800 gem fine. Now-"''

I'm assuming from the passage about her parent's careers that they're somewhat signifigant members of the village. It would make a bit more sense if her parents were refered to by their names.

Also, the last sentence changes verb tense.

"This has believed to happen at midnight, and we are putting the young man in jail for 2 weeks, and given him a 800 gem fine. Now-"

It would make sense to put 'have' before 'given'.

As far as plotline goes, it's okay. :)