User blog:Claweight/4 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSfQrWXD94A&t=262s

Animal Crossing New Leaf has a song for each hour of the day.

4 AM is my personal favorite.

Today I took my medication for the second time all summer

and I've been feeling better.

But I also decided to listen to the 4 AM OST today... and I cannot find the words to describe the peace.

There is an aura of calm, but also a feeling of I'm running out of time or I'm not safe here.

Death.

Did they design this music so it would feel like death?

Calm, peace, but unsafe?

4 is associated with death in Japanese lore. I wonder if all this was intentional.

There is a constant ticking.

I do not think about that part. I just listen. If I think about the ticking I will become anxious.

As I struggle to describe this, I think more and more about DEATH in my words. Am I describing dying? Think, if you were dying, thinking about the fact you are running out of time will not put you at ease, but simply accepting the peace and calm..

The more I try to describe this the more I believe this feeling is intentional. This music is intentionally giving me the same feeling as dying, and even though I haven't experienced death to my knowledge anyway I feel as if it is similar to what I describe. Not a slow, agonizing death- a death of laying on a hospital bed, surrounded by loved ones, your conscience slipping, feeling utterly at peace with the world, not thinking of any regrets.

I highly recommend you listen.

The song makes me want to talk, and talk, and talk, late at night, on a chat window. Talking about calm things, anything that isn't upsetting.

It brings me memories, these thoughts. Memories of sitting on AJW chat at midnight, everyone inactive except me and Amberstone. And we talked about things that I can't remember, and I was happy.

It makes me want to tell some stranger "I love you. I'll miss you. Goodbye."

If I ever leave the wiki, if I ever disappear,

remember me, and this song.