Rules of Survival

These rules will help you survive the most dangerous horror stories,

1. Do not walk around going 'Hello? is anyone there?' Like the killer will reply ' Yeah Im in the kitchen, want a sandwich? '

2. If your friend gets bitten by a zombie and says ' Maybe I wont turn into one ' Kill him. better be safe than sorry.

3. Upstairs? bad Idea. Outside? Dont go there. Phone? never works. Gun? dont drop it. Car? wont start. Neighbors? Never home. Police?Always die.

4. If something licks your hand in the darkness its not your dog. your dog is dead.

5. Stay away from places like Amityville, Haddonfield, Camp Crystal lake, Elm street, and the entire state of Maine

6. If you open a door and a man with a axe is standing there, he didnt come to chop the firewood,

7. If you see a clown, RUN. he didnt hang around to make Balloon Animals!

8. Dont Split up and look for clues. Everything you learnt in Scooby-doo is wrong.

9. You know that creepy clown statue upstairs thats freaking you out? well its not a statue

10. When your walking around a creepy old house? Atleast try turning the lights on!

11. On a stormy night you'll see a window you locked is unlocked, it didnt magiclly unlock itself.

12. If your pointing a gun at the killer dont say " Dont move or I'll shoot! " Just shoot him already!

13. Just lay down and act dead. Hey it works with bears??

14. If you see something moving shoot it with a baseball bat. Even if it turns out to be your friend. Swing first say Sorry later.

15. Listen to the advice of all the people at the move theater yelling at the screen.

16. Dont trot around the house calling " Is anybody there? " Of course someones there Dummy!

17. If you hear noises dont go to investigate. You arent Dora the Explorer.

18. If your asked to babysit during a storm, Friday the 13th or a fullmoon say " Sorry, no cant do "

19. Always have your keys. Dont go around fumbling in your bag saying " Oh I had them somewhere" While the killer closes in.

20. Drips are never good. if you hear a drip. its blood, likewise a clang, its a meatcleaver and a thunk, is a severed head

21. Avoid Screaming,crying,panting,wheezing, and whispering, Killers are not deaf.

22. Dont go to weird places with names like, Terror lake, Hell Hollow, Devils den, Screamerville, Skull valley, Dead mans crossing, Spook hills, Ghost Creek, Bloody Springs, and Slaughter beach.

23. If your son tells you " I see dead people " Put him up for adoption!

24. If your babysitting a kid and they say they saw someone scary at the window, tell them to wave while you hide.

25. If your friend gets bitten by a zombie, run and say " I'll see you again when your a zombie! "

26. Dont hide when you could be seen like behind a lamp *idiot*

27. This is the freaking 21st cdntury. we have cellphones! why doesnt anyone in the movies call 911 =_=

28. Always check the back seat of the car. 9/10 the killer will be there going " Aw crap. you caught me "

29. If your not sure whose innocent and whose the killer, shoot them all and let god sort it out.

30. Make sure your car has full gas and your phone is fully charged.

31. If objects in the house start moving abd attacking you dont go into the kitchen! thats where the knives are.

32. If someone hands you a tape and says " Watch it and you will die in seven days " Dont break out the popcorn.

33. if you find a good hiding spot STAY there. Why would you move when the killer cant see or hear you?

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