You Have 0 Friends-If It Was A Creepypasta Series

Ugh, it's all I hear about. Facebook, Facebook, Facebook! All the kids at my school are already in the Facebook Craze. Some even play those boring, rip off games. But me? I don't even have an account yet! One of my friends, Kyle, got TOO obsessed. He added the most unpopular kid in school, Kip Drordy, to his friends list. Which caused all his other friends to unfriend him.

So, Kyle called me today. He told me that he needed help. So I went to his house. He told me that Cartman has more friends than him now. And Kenny even has 62! "Dude, make a Facebook account and add me!" Kyle said, "I really need more!"

I backed away in disgust. "No, man! I swore never to make a Facebook account! Just delete Kip and you might get your friends back!"

"I can't!" Kyle claimed. "Kip has been happier now! On top of that, he's younger than me! Would YOU delete a sad third grader?"

I have to admit, I was moved by his words. "Okay, okay, I'll make a Facebook account, but ONLY to help you. NOT to get into the Craze."

Kyle smiled. "Thank you, Stan!"

At home, I was on my computer. I went on Facebook. And I made an account. I added "Kyle Broflovski" to my friends list and shut down my computer. Since I am more of a gamer than a social butterfly, I played Dueling Blades on my iPad.

Just then, my dad walked in my room. "So Stan, I heard you made a Facebook account." he said.

I waved while still concentrating on my game. "Yeah, Dad, but I'm not going to get into the Craze, you know? I just made the account to help a friend."

"Oh..." Dad said, "So you're not going to add me?" he frowned his famous frown.

I sighed. "No Dad, no..."

"Okay then," he said sadly, he walked away.

"OKAY, OKAY, I'LL ADD YOU! GEEZ!" I yelled.

"Oh, great!" Dad smiled.

I went on my computer. I added "Randy Marsh" as a friend. 2 minutes later, I got a friend request from my mom, my sister, and my grandma. I accepted all of them. "Oh no, I'm getting into the craze..." I moaned.

2 days later, I was still having to accept more friend requests. All of Grandma's friends added me, even Grandma's friend's friends! It kept going on and on, until I had about 845,000 friends without trying at all! I couldn't stand it anymore. My dad suddenly walked in my room again.

"Stan, your grandma poked you and you haven't poked her back," he said.

"Dad, no..." I said.

"STAN, POKE YOUR GRANDMA!" he yelled.

I had to go back onto Facebook to "poke" Grandma. I finally gave up. I went on the delete account page. But when I clicked "delete account", some wires grabbed me!

"Hey...let...me...go!" I struggled and watched as I was pulled into my computer. I suddenly awakened in some place called "The Chat Room". Everyone was wearing some weird suit. It looked like I was in Tron! Then some men went up to me.

"Are you Stan Marsh?" they asked.

"Um...yes," I said.

"GET HIM!" They yelled. I was picked up and carried to a large room. I was placed on a circular chair. Then someone who looked just like me sat on the opposite chair. Only, he was taller, and had a larger voice.

"Stan Marsh!" he boomed. He was looking down at me. "You have attempted to delete your Facebook account, yes?!"

I panicked. "Y-y-yes...?" I stammered.

The taller version of me laughed. "Well, since you are the player, you must beat me, the profile, at a competition!" He brought out a box from his pocket. "Now let's see who's more powerful, the profile, or the player!"

He set the box down on a circular table in front of us. I looked closely at the box. "Aww, what?! Stupid Yahtzee?!" I moaned.

We kept playing, and playing, and playing, and playing, until I said, "Yahtzee."

The taller version of me howled. He exploded! "SICK!" I said. I was suddenly in my room again, on my computer. The notice was still on my computer. "Are you sure you want to delete your account?" I clicked yes, shut down my computer, and relaxed.

(~The End~)