User blog:Safetyfireluv/Confessions

I've done a lot of things wrong in my life and just ghosted them. Forgot about them, ignored messages.

If you got a message to go here, I promise it's not for stupid feedback. So, recently, I'd been getting a lot of negative feedback- a lot- on my stories. I only didn't get them on collabs. Even people I thought my friends seemed way too mean. So I tried to be salty back. And then I realized it was no use.

I went out of my way to make all these poems- which, by the way, were fun to rhyme with- just so that I'd feel better about myself. I wasn't being cautious about what I could've used to help me. Sure, telling me I had to wait until chapter ten to introduce the problem wouldn't help much, but still, I ignored the advice. Not saying I didn't use it.

It felt so wrong to give feedback to other people that was just 100/10 when really, their story was horrible. I left a super long-ish, kind message on somebody's story, but in reality? I didn't actually read it.

I promised myself I'd try to be nicer to everyone from then on. But then the rude person left a very annoying comment on a blog post. And I didn't like it very much. But of course, I didn't say anything. I deleted messages from me off people's walls. I didn't respond to comments. I acted salty.

Just the other day, someone I was doing a collab with chose the title, even after I made a cover. I worked hard on the cover, and then she changed everything. So I changed the chapters to roman numerals and the title as well, saying like her I wasn't going to wait for a response, just do it.

The entire time, I tried to hint towards it, but she didn't get it, so I just gave up.

I have been on and off hiatus for so long now, and it just feels wrong to be here. But I can't leave. You know what I mean?

I don't want to let people down. That's the part of me I don't understand. I can't let people down, even when they're being the rudest person ever. Even when they're giving critism they say is constructive, but it just hurts me inside. And to one particular person, I said your comment didn't bother me.

I cried for 20 minutes.

So, look, I know I'm sensitive, and I know I need to accept what people say about my stories and use it to improve. You don't have to tell me that. So, I'm sorry for... the mess I made, I guess.

So if you got this message, I'm sorry for everything I've done and the fact that you had to be a part of it.