The Epic Interdimensional Misadventures of Sir and Friends

(This story is in a "BETA" state. Dialogue, text, and pictures are subject to change)

Good day, my friend!

I am here to tell you a story. An unusual, really long story, about a strange group of friends. This certain group of friends will feel betrayal, feel desire, and feel loss and pain... But most of all, they will feel ''love. ''They will experience epic thrills unlike no other, and perhaps even stop an Interdimensional Rift in Space! But where will this story begin? Perhaps it will begin in the very home of the strange wolf creature named Sir who started it all.

Prologue - What is a Chimera, anyway?
Alright, before I let you meet him, I want to clear some stuff up. A chimera is not always a lion/goat/dragon/snake hybrid. Those lion/goat/dragon/snake hybrids are from Greek mythology. A chimera can actually be any living thing that is mixed with parts of a different living thing. Take this uhh, griffon... thing here as an example. I don't know what it is, actually. I assume its a griffon. I guess. I don't really know.

Okay, so griffons are the best example I could find of a chimera... Other than the chimera from Greek mythology, of course. Griffons have features of both eagles and lions, two entirely different living things, mashed together.

"But Sir! Those are only two different animals! Can't it just be considered a hybrid?"

Well, I'll find a different example of a chimera for you. Calm down.

You people are crazy.

Anyways, to the right is another chimera.

"I read about her. Nobody can prove if she is a chimera or not. Plus, that's still only two animals."

I know that. Did you even read the caption of the image?

This is the best example of a chimera in biology, you know, when two different animals splice together before they are born?

Chimeras are hard to explain... I just don't want to confuse anybody. Every time I say something about "Sir is a chimera" people get mad at me. DATS NOT A CHIMERAA,  They say. Yeah. They really say that.

"Can we just get on to the story? I know what a chimera is."

Fine...

Chapter 1 - Meet the Chimera Wolf
"OMG DATS NOT A CHIMERRRAAAA!!! DATS A DUM WOFLBOO."

No. Just no.

"I was just messing with you..."

Be quiet please! The story is starting.

Sir is a wolf. Not just any wolf, but a chimera wolf. He has bits and pieces from tons of different animals mixed with him.

"You just explained the entire prologue with that single sentence."

''Be quiet! ''You are going to ruin the story!

"Sorry."

Can't a Chimera Wolf read his own autobiography aloud without being interrupted by some random quoted text?

"Actually, I don't think he can."

...

Let me start over.

Sir is a wolf. Not just any wolf, but a chimera wolf. He has bits and pieces from tons of different animals mixed with him. Even though he may look scary, or ugly, or bad, or nasty, or creepy, or disturbing, or threatening, or spooky, or mean, or rude, or disrespectful, he is actually a hero.

But he doesn't think he is a hero. The heroic things he does every day seem like nothing.

Well, because they are nothing. Sir doesn't really do anything, he doesn't even leave his house anymore.

Did I mention his house is larger than planet Mars and it is located in Interdimensional Space? I don't think I mentioned that. Of course, the whole thing isn't a house. Its more like an entire city, with parks and wildlife reserves. Sounds pretty nice, huh?

Its not. Its very lonely. The only thing keeping the house from crumbling down is a bunch of dumb scatterbrained robots who make repairs every so often. The entire house only has a few inhabitants, like Mighty, Prancing, and Little Bird. There could be other people in the house that Sir forgot about.

Why am I speaking in 3rd person? Would speaking in 1st person make it less confusing?

"No."

Ok then. Sir enjoys reading. But most of all he enjoys cacti. Yes. Cacti. Sir could even be considered the Lord, God, or King of Cacti. He spends so much time around cacti, that he is practically immune to thorns. Not a single thorn can pierce him. Its a nice thing, really. Even powerful mutant space dragons get the thorns in between their scales. But they don't hurt Sir. Sir is proud.

"What does Sir even look like?"

Oh! I completely forgot to describe him. He has mostly black fur, with some dark green-blue fur, and small white stripes. He doesn't have paws, though. All four of his legs are replaced with long eagle legs.

"Wait... Sir is a wolfaboo, isn't he?"

No. He isn't. THIS is a wolfaboo.

"Ok, then."

Anyways, Sir also wears black fedora and a red and white tie, along with a red and yellow blanket on his back.

"What do your eyes look like?"

Yellow. Completely yellow. No pupils, just yellow.

"Nice. What do you eat?"

Paper.

"Is that ALL you eat?"

Usually, yes.

"That sounds unhealthy for both you and the ecosystem..."

All the paper is 100% recycled recycled recycled paper. Its really good. I guess I also like to just eat regular food, but not as often.

"Are you done talking about yourself yet?"

You're the one who wanted the hear the story!

"I want to learn about the other characters too, you know."

Fine, then!

Lets move on to my best friend... Prancing.

Chapter 2 - Meet Prancing
I'm going to let Prancing write this entire chapter himself. I really hope he doesn't mess this up. Hey! I'm Prancing! I have worked with Sir for many years and we have come up with many helpful inventions and physics equations. We are built on making the Multiverse a better place and we have already brought hundreds of once "fictional" concepts to life.

My hobbies include reading, and playing with electricity and plasma. People say to not play with fire, but plasma and electricity are far more dangerous... But also far more fun. I've heard of pyromaniacs, but what about plasmaniacs? Plasma is the perfect energy source... And it's pretty.

...Alright Prancing that's enough talk about Plasma for now.

No, its not...

Yes, it is.

I don't even like Plasma that much. This is just some cheap character personality filler.

Liar.

Fine. I DO like plasma. But I like other things too. Like salads.

Is that it? Just salads?

I like tomatoes.

"But ponies can't eat tomatoes!"

Be quiet, random quoted text! My tomatoes are genetically modified!

*table flip*

Chapter 3 - Meet Mighty
We have met the chimera wolf and the unicorn, but we still have yet another character to meet...

Also, I'm not letting Mighty write this chapter, because when I let Prancing write his chapter, we just got in a fight.

A long long time ago, Sir was working at his restaurant, the Jamalot Diner. It was Fancy Friday, meaning everyone there had to wear their fanciest clothes, like really fancy clothes.

But one thing wasn't fancy... When Prancing, the waiter for that night, opened the door for someone, a dog ran in behind the visitor. It was a stray. It jumped onto the tables, knocking over glasses, bottles, and plates, and nearly knocking over the fancy Mira Ice Sculpture. The dog ate food off of plates, and caused chaos in the kitchen, but then Sir swiftly slipped a red and white striped scarf on the stray's neck.

''"What did you do to me?" ''said the stray dog, in a higher pitched, slightly robotic, and English accent.

The whole restaurant was astonished! The stray dog was no longer jumping about; it was now calm and content, and most importantly, talking.

"Why. Just why. I was having a great time being mindless. Jumping on tables and stuff, you know.

''Now I just want to sit down and chat. But that sounds boring."''

Did I mention he and Prancing have English accents as well? Sir has a much lower pitched voice than Prancing- However Prancing also talks a little but faster, as if he was nervous. Sir usually sounds very calm, but this time he couldn't hold back his excitement.

"IT WORKS!! IT FINALLY WORKS!! PRANCING, DID YOU HEAR HIM? HE IS SPEAKING!!"

Prancing immediately responded, "Can we keep him?"

Sir and Prancing decided to name him Mighty. His full name is Mighty Snowywolf.

Mighty barely paid attention to his new family. He just stared blankly at the wall. He might have been a little too smart for his own body now.

Sir whispered to Prancing, "Its not just the scarf that lets him talk. The scarf only does the computing and the talking. There's a little microchip I put in his head too, that picks up small signals."

Prancing, with his eyes widened, slowly nodded with approval to Sir.

Mighty kept staring at the wall. Sir was worried he made this stray dog, which probably would have ended up in the pound anyway, smarter than it should be.

"There's just one test left.." Sir muttered to himself.

Sir held a cookie above his head.

"WHO WANTS A COOKIE?" he yelled.

Mighty, who was bored and unresponsive earlier, was now literally eating out of Sir's hands.

"You're my new Master!" said Mighty, with excitement.

And that's the story of how I met mighty!

A group of young wolves, bunnies, and tigers sat in a circle around Sir. Half of them were asleep, or drooling all over the floor.

Nobody cares for fun stories anymore, eh?

Chapter 4 - Meet the other guys who don't appear very often
And now we are going to meet the other guys who don't appear very often. Some may appear more often than others, or some may not appear until you least expect it. First up, we will meet the Tree. Now, you are probably thinking,

''Oh, that's not a tree! That's a brown giraffe with leaves on his head. There's no way he can be significant in any way!''

Well, that's incorrect. This tree is a real tree! He changes with the seasons. The picture to the right depicts the tree in fall, when his leaves turn marvelous orange, yellow, and red.

''This story is very unorganized and chaotic, by the way. I think whoever started reading it probably stopped reading by now.''

"Hey, I'm the one supposed to be complaining!"

What about me?

All of you, cut it out! Italic text, go home. Bold text, go home. Random quoted text, go home! I'm tired of you ruining my story!

"Can we stay if we don't say anything?"

Fine. But don't cause any more trouble! Anyways, the tree doesn't talk very much but he can talk. Also keep in mind that was me talking, not Italic text talking. Gosh this is so hard to explain. You are probably confused out of your mind by now. Who would even want to read my story? And why? If you're actually reading this, can you tell me? Please? I'm worried nobody cares about me.

I care about you.

Thank you, Bold text. You're not heartless like Italic text and Random quoted text.

"I heard that!"

I told you to not cause any more trouble!

"Sorry."

Ok, we talked about Tree, now we will talk about the next the other guy who don't appear very often but is still part of the story...

Lieutenant Muddyjoy, aka Lieutenant Muddybuddy. Lieutenant is in charge of maintaining the shrubberies around the parks in Sir's home. Also, for some reason, he always looks really tired, but he doesn't act tired. Maybe because he stays up until 1:00 A.M. every night, and gets up at 7:00 A.M. every morning. Maybe the only thing keeping him awake is all that coffee. He drinks about 6 cups every day. He heard something about coffee making you live longer...

Now lets meet these two interesting brothers, Mister and Expert Happycamper. Mister Happycamper is extremely timid. When he and Expert were young, they strayed from their herd. Little did they know that wolves, who acted like cats, were prowling the forest.

They were frolicking through a clearing, when a wolf jumped out of the bushes and said:

":leaps from bushes"

Mister was not a happy camper. The wolf continued its speech,

":long cat tail whips around while she pulled her sword out:"

Both Mister and Expert were confused by the wolf- However, they learned that the wolf was saying her actions before they did them, giving them time to escape each attack.

":aims for legs:"

Expert jumped up, with the sword slashing below his feet.

But then the wolf said...

":aims for legs nn nm nd:"

She broke every bone in Experts legs with her blunt pirate sword, and Mister screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Mister picked up Expert with all his strength, and took a deep breath.

Mister took ANOTHER deep breath... And prepared his lungs.

He said,

":uses dragon shout nn nm nd:"

A huge blast of energy was forced from Mister's mouth. The wolf lost her balance, and stumbled back into place. "You powerplayer!" she screamed, as she ran quickly into the bushes.

Mister carried Expert back to where their herd used to be... All they found were sleeping deer with the red splash pattern.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

They screamed and screamed.