Thread:Katenka Nowicki/@comment-31213163-20180710201217/@comment-31417255-20180710211753

Well, first off there's this incredibly cringeworthy line:

"Try to be agender-phobic or i will KILL you!"

It reaks of SJW and I'd suggest getting rid of it immediately if you're not using it to make fun of tumblrinas who make up fake genders. There's only one real non-binary gender, and that's intersex, which is incredibly rare.

As for the rest of your story, all I can say is it's bad. I would try to give you better criticism, but I can't read your story due to its bad formatting.

You write dialogue like this: I said :  Jay, i don't think the bunny mentioned ANYTHING about membership!

When you should write it like this: "Jay, I don't think the bunny mentioned anything about membership!"