Talk:Twilight Fortress/@comment-44712112-20200126220907

For some reason, my comment got deleted so here's another one.

Listen, I'm not going to sweeten it up. Like I said before, this is boring and repetitive. Plus, it doesn't feel real at all. at all.

   Since "work harder" isn't enough, I'll say that it feels rushed, the chapters are short, and you don't have enough time to feel emotionally connected enough to characters. Ruby's death was confusing. Like you don't just drop dead in the middle of the road.

This wasn't even realistic in the slightest. And since before, apparently I got a warning for sharing my opinion, it has to be long and full of horrible things about your story like Mothleaf's.

So yeah, this isn't very good.