A Brief Episode of Decently Terrible Horrible Things

Expert is an absolute klutz. One gentle sweep of his hoof, and behold, the party had been ruined.

Alas, his brother of the red tux, and the crooked teeth; He wept softly to himself, the remorse of the fallen tea had filled his mind, and soon enough, the tears found their way down his solemn face, tracing the patterns of teal fur, through his ragged mess of a brown coat.

The monocle perched atop his bleak eyes became unbalanced, and fell quickly to the table, with quite a loud thud. The brothers glanced aggressively at one another- there was the brother on the right, Expert, with the black fur- and then the brother on the left, Mr. Hapycamper. The glaring was vicious, the sights terrible...

"Dear Brother!" exclaimed Mister, his eyes still filled to the brim with tears. "How can a fellow such as yourself bring such a mighty pain to this world? Our gentlemanly meeting has been ruined, I dare say! Absolutely ruined! It's terrible... YOU are terrible!"

Expert unbuttoned his trench coat, and threw his top hat to the side. "You, Brother, are the one at fault! A gentleman such as yourself shall politely clean up his companion's messes, with little a complaint."

The two glared intently at each other, their hooves planted fiercely on the edge of the soggy tablecloth. The two were ready to strike; One had his hoof reaching for a shattered cup, a beyond excellent weapon... The other had a barrage of sugar cubes in his hooves, waiting for an opportunity to strike.

But the two froze in place, at the sound of a loud bass.

A red sports car pulled up into the forest clearing. The tinted driver's seat window rolled down with a whir, and inside, a llama was revealed. He wore a backwards facing baseball cap, and a golden necklace of chain... His fur was brown, black, and brilliantly shiny.

"'Sup?"

Expert and Mister quickly dropped all of the various broken items, and apologized to the llama greatly, as they discarded the massive pile of shattered tea cups and twisted oyster forks.

"Yo, those guys back in town, they say a llama could neva learn to drive. I'm provin' them wrong."

The tinted window was rolled back up, and the engine roared. The tires peeled out and then finally gained traction on the fallen leaves, and the beast of a machine took off into the woods, most likely headed towards the the township, for a fine street race... In the distance, backfires, and screeching engines could be heard.

Mister started picking up monocles, and bending the silver forks back into their original positions, and gently brushing the dirt off of the fine ceramic plates.

"Dude, this stuff is worth like... 8,000,000 gems at the least... I mean, some of it's salvaged from the Titanic if I remember correctly. Being a gentleman sucks. So uhh, you wanna go like... Sell this crap and get a Porsche or something?"

Expert's jaw dropped. "Yes. YES. HECK YES!!!! We're gonna get one and then paint that son of a gun chrome. All chrome. And flames. We're gonna get a Dukes of Hazzard horn on that monster and set those streets on fire. Literally. With that extra cash there's no way we're not gonna get tire smoke. Red smoke. Red. Tire. Smoke."

The two bucks salvaged all they could from the tea party, proceeded to flip the remaining wood table into the mud, and go straight to the Jamaa's most awesome car dealer.

Epilouge
It was a rainy day. The asphalt streets were slick, and dangerous for cars like these... But that didn't hold anyone back. The cobbled streets of the Township were for noobs, anyway.

Mister pulled the brand new car up to the starting line... These weren't streets they knew. Jamaa Township is nearly a thousand miles away, way down south, bordering the Lost Jungle... This here is one of the most famous cities in North Jamerica... Jam Angeles. Palm trees. Movies. Beaches.

And now Mister and Expert were there... Just like in all those old action movies!

The flags waved, the bystanders cheered, and amidst the tension, the red car next to them rolled down its front window... It was their friend, the llama again. Jeff.

"Hey." he shouted.

Mister rolled down the window on Expert's side of the car.

"Yes, ol' chap? How may we assist you?" asked Expert, as he shakily poured a cup of tea, while the powerful engine shook the whole vehicle. He promised he's stop roleplaying a gentleman but seriously, he can't help it.

The llama revved up the engines on his car, and leered over. "Race's about to start, yo."

Mister's heart skipped a beat. It was almost time! Engines growled, drivers trembled...

...And out of excitement, Mister bumped the car horn.

BOO DOO DO DO DO DO DO DO DA DA DA DO!

Mostly Everyone in the race heard it... Yeah. Really awkward anyways. Sort of cool but mostly awkward.

Anyways, bam! Starter pistol! Everyone's off! Chaos! Confusion! Really fast awesome loud cars and stuff! Who's gonna win the race? Find out in the next episode of Decently Horrible Terrible Things, starring Expert Happycamper, Mr. Happycamper, and Jeff Glamboy as themselves! Which originally started out as a British sitcom but is now a 90s action movie parody set in Jamaa's version of Los Angeles but it's actually a documentary!