Talk:Cosmo's Blood/@comment-34187323-20180126215130

Not to be rude, but you honestly need a lot of editing. First off, stop repeating things (ex. "I then"). Animals don't have fingers. Why are you writing this like you're in the game? I didn't know if it was actually YOU in the game or your character. Very confusing. If you're going to write a story make it understandable. I'm not trying to be rude but I'm just giving you some tips from a fellow fanfiction writer. ( I don't really want to use author ).